Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Keep it Real

Lately there seems to be a common theme every where I look...getting real. Mamas and women needing others to be real with them. I read about it here, talked about it with friends, am reading about it in my Bible Study Bad Girls of the Bible by Liz Curtis Higgs. We as females need to know we are not alone...in anything, including our failures.

This is a topic that has been on my heart for years. I have watched friends put their best foot forward (which I get...and I DO.) But have also watched them not share the struggles that they endure. I have had friends share the highlights of their life, talk about how blessed they are and how much they are loving the life they are in. And keep the rest hidden. Yes, Yes...my life is great! I am truly blessed! And I adore the life I have! BUT... that doesn't mean it's "perfect", that it's easy. There is nothing easy about having three kids, there is nothing easy about being a stay-at-home mom (or a work-at home mom or a working outside the home mom or a MOM). And I'm OK with others thinking I'm a mess. That is no secret. Life is Life. Life is messy, life is full of road blocks, life is full of the unknown.

I will be the mom who hasn't showered in days and wears my stinky, sweaty clothes to the ball field, who fights with her screaming toddler over a bottle of water. I will also be (and was last night) the mom who finally takes off her sweaty, stinky clothes at 5pm to put on a cotton dress, a coral necklace and some scented lotion to wear to said ball field. I will tote my husband along and allow him the joy of keeping the toddler entertained and happy. I will actually enjoy the game. But when I hear "don't you look nice tonight", I can't help but reply with "yea, but don't smell me". Yep, I'm classy like that.

Putting on an act is something I have never really understood. Why would I want someone to think I am something I am not? I am not happy all of the time. My life is not as I want it to be all of the time. Is yours?

I have had this discussion with friends regarding blogs in the past. Some have commented that they have had to quit reading a few because it made them feel inadequate. And some blogs just seemed fake. Why? Why sisters? Why do this to each other? Why not share the dirty heart of your life? Why not let it be known that you have the same struggles as everyone else? Why pretend your kids are perfect? Your marriage is unfaltering? Why post Facebook comments on how great your life is without the posts on how you lost it when your precious child called someone fat at the super market?  Yes, my children are the greatest gift God has given me (besides His Son, of course) but this precious angel can scream to get what she wants. And when she doesn't get it,  she's likely to vomit on herself. Yeppers...twice this week.

And when it comes to a kept home...are you kidding me? I once had a friend genuinely tell me to "stop by anytime" I politely told her she was not allowed to do the same.

No, I would not want anyone to drop by my home unannounced. I would in fact want to pick it up. But I'm OK with throwing everything in the master bedroom, locking the door and telling you why. The house will be clean for company (thank goodness for company). And you will not be invited to my home when I still have dinner dishes left out from the night before.  But you will be invited. Invited to my messy, unfinished projects everywhere...home.

I like to tell myself that my messy home let's others feel better about theirs...you're welcome.

I was reading a post on one of my favorite blogs and a lovely lady left this comment :

I have learned that actually being real and honest, is so much easier! Perfection is exhausting.

But more importantly, keeping up the appearance of perfection, or never sharing my gloomy or bad-to-the-bone stories, puts the focus on me, not on the ONE who rescued me!! And it's all about HIM, not me, for goodness sake!

So I join with others in saying...Keep it Real girls!

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